A Nanny in the Family Read online

  It. Not “lovemaking,” not even “good sex.” Just it.

  “No,” she said.

  “Good,” he said, then, just to make sure she didn’t misinterpret that remark to mean he’d actually enjoyed it, added, “Tommy would find losing you very hard.”

  “I’d find it hard, too. I’m deeply fond of him.” Not to mention his guardian.

  “So we’ll just...” He spread his hands helplessly, clearly at a loss for the right words.

  “Forget it ever happened,” she said bitterly, unable to suppress the hurt that persisted in ravaging her. What had she expected? That he’d feel obligated to marry her because, in a moment of inexplicable weakness, they’d succumbed to unpremeditated sex?

  “I doubt I’ll be able to do that,” he said.

  But he seemed to manage it. Over the course of the next three days, Nicole hardly saw him and he spent no time at all with Tommy. Instead of coming home for dinner, he phoned just before seven. “Say good night to Tom for me, will you? I’m working late at the office again.”

  Family breakfasts received the same short shrift. When she brought Tommy downstairs, Pierce was already gone for the day. That he was avoiding Nicole was clear enough, but what hurt her more was that his neglect brought about a resurgence of the insecurity Tommy had experienced in the early days after his parents’ death.

  “Nicole, is Uncle Pierce living with Mommy and Daddy?” he asked on the Wednesday. “Is that why he doesn’t come home anymore?”

  She hardly knew how to answer him.

  If Pierce made himself scarce, however, Louise Trent was much in evidence, scurrying around the house, note-pad and pen in hand. When she discovered Peaches had taken up residence, she wasted no time airing her opinion on the matter.

  “What is this thing doing in here?” she inquired, sweeping uninvited into the kitchen just before noon on the Tuesday.

  Janet, who was making bread at one end of the counter, gave her a stony stare. “If you’re referring to the dog, she lives here.”

  “Inside the house? I can’t believe Commander Warner is aware of that.”

  “He knows,” Janet replied, pounding the bread dough savagely, and addressed her next remark to Nicole who sat at the table helping Tommy shape his own ball of dough into grimy little rolls. “You got those things ready for the oven yet?”

  “Just about,” Nicole said, wiping Tommy’s floury hands with a damp cloth.

  “I’m allergic to dogs, you know,” Louise said, dabbing at her perfect nose with a scrap of lace-trimmed linen and shooing away an ecstatic Peaches who seemed unable to believe that not all people fell in love with her on sight.

  “Can’t say I do,” Janet replied, unmoved. “Can’t say I particularly care, either. The dog’s here to stay.”

  Louise bristled. “We’ll see about that. In any event, I don’t want it underfoot this weekend.”

  “What’s happening this weekend?” Nicole asked Janet, when they were alone again.

  “Miss Louise has planned a housewarming party for Saturday, and guess whose house she’ll be warming?” Janet sniffed scornfully. “I daresay she sees it as a dress rehearsal for when she assumes the role full time, but if she thinks she’s taking over my kitchen, she can think again. Until I hear differently, I take orders from the Commander and no one else.”

  Nicole could think of few things she’d like less than being forced to watch Louise hanging on Pierce’s arm and calling him “sweets” every second sentence. “It might be best if I take Tommy out for the day. Ms. Trent doesn’t like little boys any better than she likes puppies.”

  “You’re right,” Janet said. “If it were up to her, she’d probably keep them both in a kennel at the bottom of the garden, as far away from the house as possible.”

  But when Nicole mentioned the idea to Pierce, managing to waylay him when he came home unexpectedly midmorning on the Thursday to pick up something he needed at the office, he was adamant. “Absolutely not. I want Tom here.”

  “Why?” she said. “He won’t enjoy being passed around among strangers, especially not at that time of day. He’s past his best by six.”

  “He can put in an early appearance and still be in bed by seven.” He shuffled through the papers on his desk, then swiped them aside in a rare show of temper. “Have you let him play in here when I wasn’t around? I can’t find a damn thing in this mess.”

  “No, I have not let him play in here when you weren’t around,” she snapped back, outraged as much by the way he absolutely refused to look her in the eye as by his unjust accusation. “Not, of course, that he hasn’t had ample opportunity, since you’re so seldom around here lately. I’d be surprised if he even recognizes you the next time you deign to put in an appearance.”

  “I am still on the Navy payroll, Nicole, and I do happen to have a job to do,” Pierce informed her, the steel in his voice reflected in his eyes as he spared her a fleeting glare. “A very demanding job, in case you’re inter ested. And you should be since it’s what enables me to afford this house. And you.”

  It was the And you that pushed her over the edge, as if, on top of everything else he had to put up with, he was saddled with paying off a woman he’d used. “I’ll be happy to take a cut in salary, if it will ease your burden, Commander, and I can assure you Tommy would be happy to settle for a less opulent lifestyle if it meant he could enjoy more quality time with the man who’s supposed to be standing in for his father.”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake, don’t you think I know that?” He slammed a heavy manual down on the desk so hard, the aftershock sent a sheaf of papers fluttering to the ground. “I can only do so much and just lately it seems as if everything’s getting away from me. I have specs to present for a new destroyer, meetings to attend, business trips I should be making and which keep getting put off because personal matters keep getting in the way. And on top of all that, I’m supposed to whip this library into shape so that people can traipse through here on the weekend and tell me what a nice, tight ship I run.”

  “You’ve also got a child and he comes before any of that. Get your priorities straight, for heaven’s sake! Other men manage to.”

  He sent her another scorching glare. “Well, I’m not other men. This isn’t the future I had mapped out for myself, in case you aren’t aware. Being invalided out of active service was bad enough, but trying to juggle a new career and having instant fatherhood foisted on me before I’d had time to catch my breath—well, let me tell you, it’s taking some getting used to!”

  “And you’ve still got a long way to go,” she replied bitingly. “Or do you think you’re the only one suffering here? What about Tommy? To hell with your shattered dreams—what about his?”

  Her words hit home. He stopped his frantic searching and dragged a weary hand over his face. “You’re right and I’m sorry if you feel I’m letting Tom down. Believe me, that’s the last thing I want. Whatever else you think about me, Nicole, rest assured that, prepared or not, I’m certainly willing to shoulder full responsibility for him. Ungrudgingly. I’m not so small-minded that I can’t love another man’s child, and most especially not Jim’s child. Tom’s as much a part of my life and of what goes on in this house as anyone, which is why I want him here on Saturday night, even if it is only for a few minutes.”

  “Fine. I’ll have him dressed and ready to go on display by six, and collect him again about seven,” she said, and turned to go.

  His next words stopped her in her tracks. “I want you there, too.”

  “I can’t imagine why,” she said, swinging back to face him. “Employees aren’t usually included in social events.”

  He heaved a sigh, as though what he had to say next was costing him more than he cared to think about. “You’re something more than an employee, Nicole.”

  Indeed she was, but not in the way he understood. It was hard enough maintaining the lies with him, without having to do so to all his friends, as well. “I’d prefer not to—”r />
  “I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Is that an order, Commander?” she asked, resenting the way he used his authority to coerce her when it suited him.

  His lips tightened in displeasure as much, she suspected, at her tone as the question itself. “If that’s what it takes, yes, it’s an order.” He paused as if he expected her to salute, then back submissively out of the room.

  She did neither. Instead, she returned his gaze, her own sparking with indignation. “As you wish, Commander.”

  Anger flushed under his skin at that, highlighting his cheekbones and flinging his eyes into electric blue relief. “I wish,” he snapped, all towering senior officer addressing an insubordinate junior. “You are, after all, being paid to put in a full working day.”

  “And what about the evenings?” she flung back, the sheer cruelty of his reminder blinding her to everything but the urge to hurt him as deeply as he’d just wounded her. “Or do you expect to have those thrown in free as a form of entertainment when nothing better presents itself?”

  The blood drained from his face abruptly, leaving him blanched with shock. “If that’s your opinion of the kind of man I am,” he said hoarsely, “then I can’t imagine why you’re still here at all and I will certainly understand if you wish to resign.”

  Too late she regretted the self-indulgence of lashing out at him. Pierce wasn’t the only one who needed to rearrange his priorities; her own were getting sadly out of whack, too. “I’m here,” she replied, gathering the rags of her dignity around her, “because Tommy needs me and I will not abandon him because you and I—”

  “Exactly,” he said. “Tommy needs you. You make him feel secure and safe. If he misbehaves or is feeling out of sorts, no one handles him better than you do. And that’s all I meant when I asked you to be here with him on Saturday evening.”

  She had no business feeling let down by his reply. What else had she expected him to say? That because she’d let him make love to her, he’d feel obligated to treat her as an equal? As someone who mattered to him in any capacity other than that of Tommy’s nanny? That he’d seek her out for the sheer pleasure of her company?

  From somewhere beyond the hurt, she drummed up a shrug of indifference. “I understand perfectly. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get back to earning my salary.”

  She got as far as the door before he stopped her, his voice once again tight with anger. “Don’t do this, Nicole.”

  She remained with her hand on the knob and her back toward him. “What is it I’m doing that displeases you?”

  “Playing the woman scorned. Adopting an adversarial attitude to a relationship that—”

  “We don’t have a relationship, Commander,” she flared, spinning ’round to face him again. “We have, as you so succinctly reminded me less than five minutes ago, a contract.”

  He subjected her to a long, level scrutiny, his blue eyes unreadable. She stared back, manufacturing all the hurt that insisted on welling up and swamping her, into icy rage. It was her only defense against him. If she allowed herself to remember the tenderness, the passion.... Oh, sweet heaven, if she remembered all that, she’d dissolve in tears and subject herself to further humiliation.

  He held her gaze interminably, then finally lifted his shoulders in a shrug situated somewhere between frustration and resignation. “I see. I’m sorry you feel that way. I was hoping we could be friends.”

  If he’d offered her friendship the day she met him, she’d have been happy to accept. Friendship would have precluded the need for lies and left the door open for love to grow. But the complications inherent in her deceit precluded such a simple outcome and there was no going back. There’d been no going back from the moment she’d presented herself as someone other than who she really was.

  The best she could hope for was that, when he learned the truth about her, he’d understand her motives and forgive her. Perhaps then they could be friends. The fact that it would no longer be enough to satisfy her was a disappointment she’d have to bear alone.

  Breakfast was scarcely finished on Saturday morning when the show began. Vans rolled up the driveway and Louise’s minions poured into the house. Florists vied with caterers for kitchen counter space; musicians tangled with electricians in the library.

  “In my day, a housewarming party meant a few friends dropping by with a plant,” Janet muttered, watching events from the deck outside the kitchen where she and Nicole, with Tommy and Peaches, had sought escape from the crowd. “I can’t believe the Commander wanted this kind of shindig.”

  But it struck Nicole that Pierce seemed more than willing to give Louise a free hand. Shortly after the hubbub began, he once again made an excuse about having to attend to business in his downtown office and vacated the premises. No one saw him again until late afternoon.

  By then, Louise had orchestrated a transformation. Gorgeous arrangements of flowers adorned the reception rooms. Linen-covered tables dotted the patio around the pool. Colored lights threaded the trees and shrubs. A pianist coaxed Broadway selections from the concert grand in the living room. A string quartet played Mozart on the terrace outside the library. A fleet of uniformed maids and waiters stood ready to serve chilled Veuve Clicquot and the trays of elegant hors d’oeuvres created by the army of caterers.

  Crystal sparkled, silver dazzled, furniture gleamed. But nothing quite outshone the hostess. Louise was a vision in emerald taffeta complemented with teardrop diamond earrings and the subtle aura of Gio by Armani.

  “If that hemline of hers was any shorter,” Janet declared, perching on the side of Tommy’s bathtub as Nicole readied him for the party, “it’d meet her plunging neckline. That’s one woman who doesn’t believe in leaving a lot to a man’s imagination.”

  “Well, you can hardly blame her for wanting to look her best. She’s gone to a lot of trouble to make the evening a success,” Nicole said, trying to be fair.

  “And she’s had a good time doing it, too. This whole affair promises to be the most extravagant outlay of that hussy’s energy and the Commander’s money since the day she first hooked her claws into him and talked him into buying this house.”

  “You’re very fond of Pierce, aren’t you?” Nicole said, trying unsuccessfully to tame Tommy’s cowlick. They were due to present themselves downstairs in another fifteen minutes and she was having a hard time convincing him he had to look his best.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve known him since he was a boy. Looked after his folks’ house until they retired to Arizona, and was first in line when he needed someone to run this place. Not that I expect to be kept on when milady moves in. I’m not fancy enough for her.” She ran a critical eye over Nicole’s plain blue blouse and skirt. “Speaking of fancy, I hope that’s not what you’re planning to wear downstairs.”

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  “It looks like a uniform. The only things missing are the white shoes and stockings.”

  Although she and Janet had grown quite close with the passing weeks and often chatted over morning coffee or in the afternoon while Tommy napped, their conversations seldom ventured into personal areas, so Nicole was somewhat taken aback by such frank disapproval. “Well,” she said lightly, “I can produce them, too, if you think they’ll improve matters.”

  Janet tipped her head to one side and fixed Nicole in a very old-fashioned look. “Who are you trying to fool, Nicole?”

  The fear of having her deceit exposed had grown no less for all that she’d succeeded in concealing it so well all these weeks. Janet’s question brought it right to the forefront again and sent Nicole’s pulse into spasms of flickering anxiety. “What do you mean?”

  Janet pursed her lips. “I might be past sixty but that doesn’t mean I can’t see what’s going on under my nose.”

  Nicole’s heart stopped dead at that. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted, drymouthed.

  “You’re a pretty woman, Nicole. You�
�re too smart not to know it and so is the Commander. I see him watching you, the same way I see you sneaking looks his way when you think he’s not noticing.”

  “Oh, nonsense!”

  “Furthermore,” Janet continued, unperturbed, “there’s a softness to you, a womanliness if you like, that Louise Trent will never have no matter how hard she tries to mold herself to fit the part.”

  “She’s a very successful businesswoman. She hardly needs to worry about fitting any other role.”

  “She’s too aggressive. Oh, she might know how to close a real estate deal and there’s no one better when it comes to putting on the sales pressure, but you’re the kind of woman a man like Pierce Warner marries. So why do you go to such lengths to make yourself look as plain as possible? Why are you afraid to show yourself off in your best light?”

  “I’m just a paid employee, Janet.”

  “Hogwash! That’s the sort of rubbish women my age might believe but you modern things know better. Leave Tommy with me and go put on something eye-catching. Give that Trent creature a run for her money, instead of leaving her a clear field.”

  “No,” Nicole said. “I don’t think Pierce would appreciate my seeming to push my way into a social occasion that clearly doesn’t include me.”

  “He won’t appreciate your showing up looking as if he pays you so poorly that you can’t spring for something a bit fancier than a plain old cotton skirt and blouse, either.”

  “I don’t have anything—”

  “Save your breath. I do the laundry around here, remember, and I’ve seen the inside of your closet. You’ve got plenty of pretty things to wear.” Janet hauled Tommy onto her lap and jerked her head in the direction of Nicole’s suite. “Go on. Show the Commander what he’s been missing all this time.”

  Was it vanity that made the idea irresistible, or simply that the real Nicole Bennett had been locked away for so long that she couldn’t withstand the chance to be free for a while? Whatever the reason, Nicole found herself back in her suite and riffling through the dresses hanging in her closet.